Angry Coffee

"Is that all for today sir?", she smiled a horrible smile, gritting her teeth and holding out the steaming cup of grounded beans, cocoa beans to be exact. Grounded beans, beans grinded down with every ounce of anger in her angst ridden teenage body. A new man walked in behind the old man, Mr. Zanderboon, who stood waiting to grab the angry coffee, this man was a much younger man. He wore his hat twisted slightly on his low sloped head and glared at Zanderboon as he cut past to talk to his angst ridden girlfriend. "Well, that was quite rude." Mr Z's mind said out loud. "Wht CHU spittin' at old maahn?" the teen garbled in a nonsensical fashion at Z. Z shrugged at the teen, not realizing he had mumbled his thoughts out loud, as much as he tried to prevent himself from doing so, he usually ended up failing. Z tipped his hat to the angst girl and thanked her for her efforts then walked slowly out of the door backwards right into another young, angry teen. The sun was sinking into the horizon and he could see the moon hanging out near by. "What a lovely night for a stroll." he grabbed his jacket from the trash holder he called a car and wandered towards nowhere in particular. The coffee was searing hot, he tried to blow the heat away yet failed miserably and ended up dropping his coffee on the ground, "I seem to fail at everything." he sighed and sat down, "Maybe, I should stop walking, I'll probably destroy the planet just by moving the slightest". The coffee created magical designs on the sidewalk, Z traced his finger in it and wrote out his initials. "PEZ?" a small voice squeaked at Mr. Z, "Those candies are disgusting" a little girl stepped out of the bushes towards Z. She sat down next to him and smiled a big non-angst ridden smile, "My name is Gollah" she slapped him on the shoulder and smiled even bigger "You must be Pez, why else would you write that?". Z twisted his mouth into what resembled a smile, although he was slightly uncomfortable with her presence, "You can call me Mr. Z" he tipped his hat, "Or you can call me nothing, that's what most people call me," he slumped down and looked at his knees. Knees, he thought, are very odd things, so many crosses etched in the skin. "You don't talk much, eh?" Gollah smiled again, trying to hide her slight discomfort at the old man's silence. Z was thinking of a way to respond when his thoughts were distracted by another old man that stepped out of the coffee shop. There was something about that man, maybe it was the way he stood or the way he held his angry coffee so tightly in his hand. Z stood up and tipped his hat at the man, the man smiled a knowing smile, "Good evening sir" the man whispered in Z's general direction. Gollah translated the man's whispered sentence, to which Z responded by completely ignoring her and taking off in the man's direction. "My name is Teyro" he turned sharply and looked at Z, grasping his hand tightly he pulled Z in close and made a peculiar face "Do I know you?". Z shook his head, slightly embarrassed, "No, I just needed to talk to you". Teyro looked towards Gollah, "Close your eyes!" he yelled and Gollah obeyed. Z's hands began to shake, he looked at Teyro's calm face and saw past what he had seen before. Teyro's hair was black, flicked with patches of white, it hung long around his angular face. "Look at me Z." Teyro whispered, Z looked into Teyro's eyes and felt his heart sink, deep brown eyes speckled with blackness, they seemed to pierce through his skull, reading his every thought. "Knees are weird things aren't they?" Teyro whispered and placed his coffee on the ground. He, yet again, pulled Z close destroying the boundaries of personal space placed by society on strangers and kissed him passionately. Z pulled away, realizing that he had started to cry. "Teyro, Do you believe in fate?". Teyro laughed and picked up his coffee, handing it to Z, "I got it for you. You can open your eyes now Gollah!" Teyro yelled. "Goodnight you two!" she smiled. Mr. Zanderboon looked down at the new coffee, "Maybe I'm not such a failure" he thought and cherished the feeling of Teyro's hand clutching his. "I believe in good coffee, not served by angsty teenagers. And I believe you and I share thoughts". Teyro's hand shot forward to catch the coffee that, yet again, Z dropped "And yes, I love you too".

Screaming Silence

(This blog seemed rather empty so I decided to add an old story I wrote from years ago, it's not the greatest thing ever but it makes things less empty)



She rocked back and forth in the silence of her room, in her head it was anything but silent. What most people think is a normal fear are the things they can see, but what if the fear you had, the monster under the bed, the demons in the closet, the burgalur you're sure is going to bust through the door any minute were in your head unrelentlessly torturing your mind. "Cassie!!! Cassie!! Please sweetie, get up!" her thoughts were startled, the door to the prison in her mind swung open, as did the door to her bedroom. Her mother came in anxiously wondering why her daughter had not responded "Sweetie, you're late for school, we need to leave, why weren't you listening??" her eyes full of questions unanswered darted to the clock, Cassie slowly began to understand. Once at school she retreated back into the safety of her undisturbed thoughts, zoning out in every class as the teachers had phrased it on the numerous calls home, the only time she could concentrate was at lunch when Sid was there, Sid knew all of her secrets all of her dreams and sometimes she felt like she might even tell him about the voices and demons tormenting her, but something always held her back. She came home to an empty house and laid down on the couch and fell asleep, day was the only time she could sleep because just like the stories children tell at sleepovers the demons only came out in the dark. But before she knew it night came and her constant state of insomnia began as it did every night. The next day started like anyother the alarmed mother questioning Cassies mental stability, the zoning out, but when she got to lunch Sid was gone, she felt so lost the rest of the day, she even missed her bus, and since her mother worked in some big corporation in the city she had no choice but to walk home, alone. The voices began to stir as she felt the sun setting "CASSIE YOU SCREWED UP AGAIN", "CASSIE! HAH! YOURE ALONE NOW, YOURE GONNA DIE" she screamed and fell to her knees, the cold concrete felt soft compared to the harsh voices taunting her, she rested her head against it and began to cry. As the sidewalk beneath her began to become a small stream of tears, she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder, it was Sid, his dark hair fell into his face as he leaned forward to help her up, "Cassie? whats wrong?", at this point she needed to tell him, she had to, she looked at him and meekly said "The voices... in my mind, they were screaming." at first he didnt respond, she turned her eyes to the ground in shame but then he grabbed her hand and said "Everything will be fine, Ill be here with you". They walked to her house, once again it was empty, he decided to stay with her, his reasoning was he wanted to make sure she was ok. Cassie didnt care what his reasoning was though, she had felt something she'd never felt towards anyone before, love, at this point she knew she would do anything for him. The phone rang, Cassie picked up and her moms rushed, quiet voice came on
"Cassie?"
"yeah mom?"
"Im sorry sweetie im gonna be late again tonight"
"Its ok mom, I have a friend over"
"Oh! really? who?"
"Sid, he's a friend from school"
"Oh ok. What class are you in with him?"
"6th period math, and we sit together at lunch"
"Aww, well thats great honey have a good time."
Just as Cassie's mother hung up the phone it rang again
"Mrs Stevens?"
"Uhm, yes?"
"Hi im Cassies math teacher I need to ask if shes doing ok?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well shes not paying attention in class."
"Oh, haha, probably because of Sid right?"
"Whos that? there's nobody by that name in my class.."
"Uhm... I ... I need to go."
Her voice broke off the line. She grabbed her keys and ran for the door. A wave of panic went over her as she pulled onto the highway, there was traffic, she knew shed be to late. Meanwhile at home Sid and Cassie sat talking about her "demons" and how she could handle them, the comforting sound of his voice lulled her into a sense of complete comfort, for the first time in days she fell asleep, at night. An hour later the sound of slamming on the door jutted Cassie back into conciousness. "Sid?" she whispered into the dark, "Sid please, answer me!!" a hand shot out from the dark muffling her scream. "Cassie someones trying to break in, its not just in your head anymore. You have to stop them, you have to save us!!" Cassie knew what she had to do. The slamming had subsided and now she heard it, it was at the window now, she had to save the, she had to save Sid. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a butcher knife off of the knife rack. She walked cautiously towards the window Sids voice whispered gently into her ear "Cassie you can do this, defeat your demons, defeat your fears." The window latch came unlocked and the window swung open. Cassie closed her eyes so tightly tears began to well up, she count tell if she was feeling scared or excited. She thrusted the knife forward through the red curtains, "CASSIE, BABY, NO!!!!!" Her eyes opened, scared to see what, or who she had killed, the adreniline of it all had stopped her from hearing the numerous screams that had came from the intruder. She moved the now blood red curtains apart, her mother lay lifeless on the ground, now she knew the feeling from the tears in her eyes, they were tears of sadness and pain. "Sid.....what....what have I done?" there was silence, she turned to where he was standing, "Sid?". She exmined the knife still covered with fresh blood, "LET ME OUT OF THIS PRISON!!", she fell to the floor, blood stained the beige linoleum tiles. For once in her 17 years on this planet the demons were silenced.

Maybe.

Maybe, I'm not supposed to look at people. I walk down the sidewalk and look at the various people walking by and it seems as if everyone is caught up in their own world. I could stare at people for hours and not get bored. I also feel, that I could stare at people for hours and some would not even realize that I was doing so. I attempt to smile at the people who pass me but most of them seem completely unaware of my existence, not that it bothers me. I know they're at least aware of their own existence. Why not take the time to enjoy someone else's existence as well

Look at me

I am anonymous

I am a person with a family and friends

I look at you because I know you are the same

I love you

Do you love me?